Thoughts Over a Cigarette
She smokes to me her make believe,
…..and I can see it when she breathes
…..…..her nicotine dreams that I inhale, like redemption
but they’re just her hopes not her surrender.
And I can see it when she breathes
…..that she wants to leave, and perhaps it’s forever.
Her eyes tell me she won’t surrender
to a man who cannot hope to understand her chaos.
I never thought she’d stay forever
counting missed opportunities with a man who fears
the gods will take away his beloved chaos.
She can’t know I’d be this way…
How can a man who fears
her hope to keep her? …..She deserves better.
She can’t know I’d be
…..stale like the air she exhales
…..…..in the exotic winter mornings—not much better
…..than my nicotine dreams that taste nothing like redemption
…..…..but rather stale like the air
she used to smoke to me …..…..when she made believe.
- Kristen A. Kutz
